I open water swim for the first time since I was a kid. The intimacy coordinator

yells from the shore THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE.

Fifty yards past the break I run into a pack of jellyfish. The soft sounds from our

squishy bodies say THERE IS NO REHERSAL FOR ABSORPTION.

No one said summersault and jellyfish swallow would be a pleasurable

experience but I swear I’LL FIND A WAY TO GET TURNED ON.

I’ve never masturbated in the ocean before. The jellyfish in my stomach gushes I

WILL GET PREGNANT IF YOU SWALLOW SEAWATER AS YOU CUM.

My head tiltes back. The intimacy coordinator on shore hired a skywriter to

remind me to SWALLOW THE FUCKING SEA.

Points of view are placed in me all at once in an extended rough tumble. The

sharks come to tell me YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR PERIOD.

These squishy fated collisions join my eulogistic whisper DEAR JELLYFISH

DAUGHTER BLEEDING HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HOMECOMING FOR ME.