no one would know but me

when we got there, horseshoe crabs were mating 

up and down the beach

carapice overturned, writhing, spidery 

legs clasping, erect, gills 

animatronic hands in air 

arched backs in the brine 

simple  eyes

im not sure where they went 

when we woke the water was clear

i expected them waiting just beyond 

we went in, me on your back so i didnt step on the eggs 

it rained 

we showered outside with a beer up against the wooden walls 

careful to not kneel on slugs coming up 

through the boards and later 

we were naked in bed 

just sunglasses and a fan banging 

up against the low ceiling

we biked to get peaches 

cucumbers, limes, cherries, and on the ride back

we talked about our summer 

what the beaches might be like

you were right, 

the male crabs are smaller

they die when they get stuck on their backs

for millions of years, 

for so much longer than us

the swimsuits hung over the railing 

the caps     hung            by the door

my words,              hanging on you

a u t o p a r o u s i a

Too Sad to Say Out Loud

All weekend my eyelashes fall out all over me 

 in to the egg yolk on the white plate and other 

    Places

And here I am passing

I catch you looking so lost in sleep, 

Your right hand under the elastic waistband 

Michelangelo’s furrowed brow, absent and obsessive 

Happy Daddy, let God talk

Something is always happening, children are always listening  

Sometimes the baby dies 

On the carousel I get dizzy but on the trampoline when we lie down and look 

Up (a girl in one arm a little boy in the other)   we can see how big the tree is 

If I had a baby it would be your baby of course and

No   body   elses 

I find I am involved in a miniature crime scene outside the library

Me vs. the Suits 

I am wielding expensive pasta in a take-out container like a 

          hammer 

It’s a beautiful sunset, thank you for suggesting it  she signs 

it’s nice to see you  I  see    the      line          she          draws 

Y aqui yo pasando        I thought you might have wanted to talk to me

If i’m being honest the thing I miss most is her holding me.

                here we are,   passing

I have to mop the floor with bleach and cinnamon in my underwear and smoke 

And drink three Seltzers       you only get one true love and maybe this is mine 

The girl doesn’t like you, its that simple

           Can’t you let something be holy?

Give him an inquiring heart, the courage to will, a spirit to love and He will come   

     stairs

 up

running 

In a pearl thong,

Towards your pink sky

Setting down the Self

Hell aisle

One things for certain those Bitches really had her back.

The angel I remember had a sharp jawline, 

Dark hair,             dark circles just like you

I imagine their lashes fell heavy on a sleeping face 

                                Sometimes I think I made it up

We’re in the jungle here / I could have touched your scalp / I hate that loud tone / I had a dream

Last night too sad 

To say out loud

The ends sneak up on you,  

I want to go truly insane and this is the closest I can get

I know you hate me,  I hate you too 

And here I am, passing.