The room was dark and flashing lights lots of flashing it felt like drugs without drugs 

my favorite state a man entered repeatedly Sheheryar directed him by shouting things

like ACTION! shouting CUT! shouting YOUR HEART IS BREAKING! shouting YES!

shouting WAKE YOURSELF UP! he shouted over the music violent and nauseating 

the man entered with visions of monks in habits just an hour before I’d seen a dead 

girl she removed her bloodied dress and left the flashing room What do you think 

this scene is about? Sheheryar asked me in a lull between scenes the room was still 

flashing but dark no longer I think he killed her! I think he is feeling regret? I guessed 

and Sheheryar beamed You are a sharp one Madeline Claire! he designed the scene 

he directed the whole room the man entering with despair the man was made to laugh

the man was made to cry the man was made to crawl to the door Sheheryar made him 

I watched the man stare at the gun on the table outside the frame good to know what’s 

in your frame I love control! is the first thing I admitted to Sheheryar on our first date 

good start to a first date would you like to be a monk Madelou? Sheheryar said and 

reader you should know I love monks to monk is my dream I gasped and asked now? 

I had not expected my dream to be fulfilled so soon but sure! he said so I wore a cheap 

plastic cloak extra large hood swallowing me I felt hidden and perfect like god you’re 

my dream girl! he told me which was bold and also charming he told me my poems 

made him magic and all-knowing we have this witchy thing going on though he says 

it’s more saint than witch which is good I have a bad history with witches it all had me 

wondering if I like him and will he let me get close? well not very well enough well 

anyway I walked in a circle all monk-like in front of his camera I had never been in 

front of a camera but I was happy punch drunk type happy flapping my black cloaked 

arms like a big old baby like a monk baby cloaked and waiting to be held the man was 

beating his head with his hand and also with the remote the TV was playing the show 

Looney Tunes the lights still flashing we sorta laughed as cartoon animals got smashed 

there was the man with despair Sheheryar directed and the lights he designed the whole 

world flashing it was like drugs without drugs my favorite state I loved that there that 

movie that life I could picture it all and late walk to the train passing apartments with 

stained glass windows I said I wish my home had stained glass windows! and he said 

Our home will have stained glass. He said it just like that. You’re ridiculous! I said. 

I meant  Yes please. Yes, please, and Forever.