CW: mentions of suicide

poem for my brother

it’s okay you didn’t read the Instagram posts 

about community care. call me precious. 

get mad for not eating 

and send me 20€ instead

there was a time in the kitchen 

when life felt important. you raged 

about the girls

in school. I thought I lost you

now you agree. we don’t need another biopic of 

white men and timothee chalamet

acting so well 

he might just be 

mean to his girlfriends and chain-smoking cigarettes

in private. I also had you fooled 

please don’t admire me

it makes me want to kill myself

you ask if that’s a scorpio thing

by which you mean

I love you as you are and want to be 

Loving. means to get to know something 

infinitely

mo and me sit in the car

in the blue leather loophole

your face drops as i say 

what more is there to be alive for 

the neo-christian nonsense 

about life being a blessing 

and a gift is so 

out of character for you 

are the sunshine boy

keeping our planets in rotation 

with a smile revealing things 

are indeed as fucked up 

as they seem before we go 

back into the house 

i ask you to breathe 

in the dangling plastic mini-trees

they will be here 

when we’re gone