CW: Animal Death/Abuse, Intrusive Thoughts, Suicide

has your therapist ever said that’s actually very normal, and more common than you think
to you as you cry your heart out

& do you know how nice it is to realise that at least one other person, probably, upon seeing a cute cat, thinks about how most serial killers try out their skills on animals before they move on to humans

& therefore thinks of every conceivable way the cat could die

& be maimed beyond recognition 

& does that mean I have serial killer tendencies even though when I took Channel 4’s ‘Psychopath Test’ I scored really low

& am I going to strangle my pet rabbit by accident, or worse, on purpose

& I can’t believe I wrote that down

& that it’s actually very normal

& back to the subject of cats: what if like my whole family got killed in some freak accident in the lion enclosure at the local safari park and I was the only one left 

& I have to tell myself once again that intrusive thoughts are just your brain telling you what not to do, what not to do, what not to do.

& it’s actually very normal and more common than you think

Questionnaire

Q1) You, completely un-suicidal, actually a genuinely happy and contented person, stand on a 5th storey hotel balcony with sea views. What do you think?

A) What a beautiful sea view.
B)   Jump.

Q2) You, in a loving, healthy, happy relationship, sit next to your partner on the sofa in the home that you share. Which of these thoughts is more likely to pop into your head?

A) Isn’t it nice to be in a loving, healthy, happy relationship.
B) I secretly want to leave.

Q3) You see, directly in front of you, a cute cat. What do you think?

A) Aww, what a cute cat.

B)         I could easily cut its tail off.

I’m more of a dog person. But I mean, woah.