CW: SW mention, racism, transphobia, homophobia, religion, abuse, k!nk, and drugs

Due to the influx of religious twits

Who have a deep evil within

Is where my story begins 

Chilling in the land of buffalo and nobodies

4 bongs in my apartment sun high and blinding

"Shut the curtains, it's time to make it dark ‘cause it is too bright today"

I identify as a southern goth gay

The kid that no one wanted to talk to or play with 

I found my crew and we

Would walk outside in storms 

And run barefoot in the snow outside

Drive in the rain with no visibility at night

We rob stores, drop acid and are suicidal 

Found reprise in the marching band

Had to deal with some kind of denial

Not allowed to be ourselves

Do chores constantly and half raise our siblings

All of us were neglected

Our grandparents had to watch us 

Because our parents were out smoking meth

We spend summer by the pool getting swim tans 

We embrace the pornographic, satanic and fantastic

Because no one fucking cares

That the state is run by the white school shooter types

Who cannot piece together a logical statement if they even tried

MAGA fools campaign on the side of the highway

And one day, we came out

Our family kicked us out of the house

We are homeless, tired, and are sick from the world

The locals cover up murdered because they want queer children dead

Throw out our votes because they crave insurrection from the feds

Everyone we know has been at a shooting 

Can’t eat at the local mall food court

Because someone got too fucking mad

Young Dolph-ed his bullets and missed 

“Got to leave before the police get here, friend”

“I want to go get stoned before they barricade us in.”

After a while, every day became a long shift

Sipping Sonic drinks

While at work watching- 

Dog collar wearing twinks 

In the vestibule at a motel by a highway

Getting on Grindr to do some puppy play 

Nonbinary brown goth bitch is the manager

Who got high after they thought

The cops gave up on trying to find the guy who robbed my car

Had to turn down two guys trying to get between my thighs

I am done with my shift

Now I have to lock up this inn 

And give a police statement

It is not even 8 yet

Today is a long shift

I lie about marrying my wife

“Husband” slips out my lips

My manager was a creep

Who believed in cruelty, transphobia and misogyny

So I walked out 30 minutes to close 

He can fuckin vacuum alone 

Today is a long shift

I go to Walmart on my server tips

People stare at me 

I go home and smoke till I’m the on the ground wishing I was dead

Maybe it is the end of long shifts

I finally got my dream job

Just to find out that the political divide has gone schizophrenically right

Have to get up and have another 11-hour shift

Take calls from DHS 

About kids getting left behind in the system

About abuse of all kinds, and unimaginable pain

Always trying to be another kind person on the line

Even though I am burnt out and in another bipolar cycle again

How am I supposed to focus?

When I watch the state government shut the First People’s voices down? 

How am I supposed to focus?
When cops in small towns want to bring lynching back around

How am I supposed to focus?

When votes are casually thrown out

How am I supposed to focus?

Even though I was privileged to be able to leave 

I have been humbled by the fact

It is privilege if you do not have to watch the news

And if you get to live in a blue state

Where your rights are not constantly being taken away

Finding my bliss in a place

Even though I could not afford Wi-Fi for months

Just to have my catalytic converter be stolen 

And then, my car blew up after Thanksgiving

Where my family broke my heart

I count my blessings everyday 

Hoping all the pain will pay off one day