Southern Gothic Gay
by D.G.
CW: SW mention, racism, transphobia, homophobia, religion, abuse, k!nk, and drugs
Due to the influx of religious twits
Who have a deep evil within
Is where my story begins
Chilling in the land of buffalo and nobodies
4 bongs in my apartment sun high and blinding
"Shut the curtains, it's time to make it dark ‘cause it is too bright today"
I identify as a southern goth gay
The kid that no one wanted to talk to or play with
I found my crew and we
Would walk outside in storms
And run barefoot in the snow outside
Drive in the rain with no visibility at night
We rob stores, drop acid and are suicidal
Found reprise in the marching band
Had to deal with some kind of denial
Not allowed to be ourselves
Do chores constantly and half raise our siblings
All of us were neglected
Our grandparents had to watch us
Because our parents were out smoking meth
We spend summer by the pool getting swim tans
We embrace the pornographic, satanic and fantastic
Because no one fucking cares
That the state is run by the white school shooter types
Who cannot piece together a logical statement if they even tried
MAGA fools campaign on the side of the highway
And one day, we came out
Our family kicked us out of the house
We are homeless, tired, and are sick from the world
The locals cover up murdered because they want queer children dead
Throw out our votes because they crave insurrection from the feds
Everyone we know has been at a shooting
Can’t eat at the local mall food court
Because someone got too fucking mad
Young Dolph-ed his bullets and missed
“Got to leave before the police get here, friend”
“I want to go get stoned before they barricade us in.”
After a while, every day became a long shift
Sipping Sonic drinks
While at work watching-
Dog collar wearing twinks
In the vestibule at a motel by a highway
Getting on Grindr to do some puppy play
Nonbinary brown goth bitch is the manager
Who got high after they thought
The cops gave up on trying to find the guy who robbed my car
Had to turn down two guys trying to get between my thighs
I am done with my shift
Now I have to lock up this inn
And give a police statement
It is not even 8 yet
Today is a long shift
I lie about marrying my wife
“Husband” slips out my lips
My manager was a creep
Who believed in cruelty, transphobia and misogyny
So I walked out 30 minutes to close
He can fuckin vacuum alone
Today is a long shift
I go to Walmart on my server tips
People stare at me
I go home and smoke till I’m the on the ground wishing I was dead
Maybe it is the end of long shifts
I finally got my dream job
Just to find out that the political divide has gone schizophrenically right
Have to get up and have another 11-hour shift
Take calls from DHS
About kids getting left behind in the system
About abuse of all kinds, and unimaginable pain
Always trying to be another kind person on the line
Even though I am burnt out and in another bipolar cycle again
How am I supposed to focus?
When I watch the state government shut the First People’s voices down?
How am I supposed to focus?
When cops in small towns want to bring lynching back around
How am I supposed to focus?
When votes are casually thrown out
How am I supposed to focus?
Even though I was privileged to be able to leave
I have been humbled by the fact
It is privilege if you do not have to watch the news
And if you get to live in a blue state
Where your rights are not constantly being taken away
Finding my bliss in a place
Even though I could not afford Wi-Fi for months
Just to have my catalytic converter be stolen
And then, my car blew up after Thanksgiving
Where my family broke my heart
I count my blessings everyday
Hoping all the pain will pay off one day