marrying the whale
by Aaron Selby
i brought into my husband’s stomach
a green leather suitcase filled with clothes,
a sewing kit, a rug, and a framed photo
of my sisters and me
smiling with our short, sensible haircuts.
on my wedding day, they arranged
my dress into an o shape on the floor
and i stepped into its eager
tulle mouth. my mother veiled me.
the beach was cold and bright.
after the ceremony, the whale smiled at me
from the water where he waited. i stared
into his left eye because that is what faced me
and because it was like a dark, wet stone, as wide
as my chest. his expression bore a formality
appropriate for the occasion. the tide was coming in.
my ankles became wet. our guests left the beach
to be polite. the whale said consummate,
which meant consume. it was noon. like any good wife,
i smiled as he swallowed me whole. his gray lips
closed behind me and i thought this is what it’s like
to be an eye under lids blinking shut. i thought
of my wedding vows. for richer, for worse.
my hands searched for something to hold onto and found
a crescent tooth. our marriage
came late in his life. his tooth, soft at the root,
slid free in my palms. you will learn
to love him, my mother had said. in his stomach,
it is warm. only after he opens his mouth
and closes it again am i aware of the persistent
smell, like an infant’s saliva. i trace the seams
of my suitcase with my fingers. i am used to the sound
of his blood circulating. i am used to the dark,
which is faithful to me. i do not try
to count the hours. i sharpen the tooth
into a blade. i cut my hair when it needs cutting.
when my socks wear out, i darn them
with that hair. i feel for my picture frame.
in the dark, it is just a shallow box.
Aaron Selby is a poet and playwright from Seattle, Washington and an undergraduate student of Linguistics and Creative Writing at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. As a nonbinary writer, Aaron uses poetry to explore and interrogate gendered embodiment. When Aaron is not playing with language, they love to cook, look for deer, play frisbee, and fix things.